Relationships are essential for a good life; that is biology

In my lectures on wellbeing and yoga, I often speak of the influence of evolution. Evolution is the ground upon which our biology is designed. Billions of years of evolution have created the conditions in which our cells function. That ground also influences our behavior. Among the various impacts that evolution has on us, the role of relationships cannot be understated.

Commonly, we tend to think of our increased intelligence as the primary power that humans possess over other animals. You may have heard the idea that opposable thumbs enable an increased capacity for tool use, and combined with a larger brain to direct that activity, this has made us a dominant species on this planet.

But there is another factor that is even more important. As human beings, we are mammals. Like many other mammals, we are dependent on relationships for our survival. Humans are especially dependent on relationships for survival. A single human in the wild is prey for other larger predators, even if armed with tools and greater intelligence. But as a tribe, we can compete with much larger creatures.

In fact, throughout the animal kingdom, the value of cooperative relationships shines. As humans, we have an extraordinary ability to enhance that: we can speak, and thereby communicate with breadth and complexity. We can share ideas. We can pass on knowledge over generations through that learning and connection.

My key point here is: the need for good relationships is hardwired in the human species by evolution; it has always been essential for our survival, and therefore non-negotiable.

Modern life tends to disconnect us from relationships, through fragmented urban living, isolating technologies, and a high-pressured pace of life. This is part of the reason for the mental health burden nowadays. But we can reverse that.

Good relationships create the ground for both physical and mental health. They give meaning and fulfillment to life. We could say that it is not only an experiential necessity, but also our biological destiny to find value and meaning in stable and positive relationships.

May we all find meaningful connection and good relationships in our lives.